Bathrooms here are reverberative and are usually silent and empty. But sometimes there is that one person in a stall whose intestines are out for blood. You walk in and maybe make a noise to let the other person know you're there, just in case they were considering making this even more painfully awkward. The sounds are disgusting, but the tense, weighted silences between splashes/splurts/pours are the worst. If you get all your ideas about life from media, it might make you sick at the thought of your own humanity. I'm glad I'm not him but I also know that eventually I will be. This is the most intimate moment I will have all day, and I want nothing more than to remain perfect strangers.
I thought it was going to be another lame Monday. Then the vending machine screwed up and gave me two bags of chips, which has never happened to me, ever. And I realized that if an 80 cent bag of chips is all it takes to turn a lame day into a mediocre day, then I've become complacent, and I'm killing my dreams. I'm not afraid of failure, but I'm terrified of complacency, and I'm terrified of losing my fear of complacency. Monday may be my new favorite day of the week.
I'm now a Bachelor of Science in Telecommunication Media Studies. In the end, I walked across the stage without getting the degree, grade change went through a day or two later, got the degree a few days after that.
As for the job, with me graduating, turns out their best option was to hire me on full time. So, the same day I got my degree, I was informed that I'll be getting a 45% raise. Hey, this degree thing does work. I have a pretty nice setup where I'm working, which is not something to be taken for granted considering how many of my graduating friends don't have anything lined up. Still, I don't plan on staying for too long. A stable nine to five is not where I want to end up, but it does give me the means to work on some film projects.
I finally have all my stuff here in the new (townhome?) where I'm staying for the summer, and I'm pretty excited about not having work tomorrow today. Despite graduating and not having school ever again, I've seemed to stay about as busy as I was before I graduated. I was thinking about it, though, and if I want to get anywhere with my chosen career, I'm going to have to stay this busy. After moving all weekend, each night I've found some time to play games or whatnot, but so far I've just fallen asleep (hence the correction above).
I sold the 42" HDTV back to one of my former roommates who said he couldn't ever go back to standard def, but I'm thinking it would have looked really cool up on the wall above my computer and in front of my bed.
I earmarked and accomplished two all-nighters in a row (minus an extremely helpful 1.5 hour nap at 10:30pm last night) for working on my project to graduate. And I actually did work on it for the first all-nighter--at least after I finished helping some other people edit their movie at 3am--but all I have to show for this latest all-nighter is a 20-minute documentary of people's perspectives on homelessness. I guess I could have sacrificed my graduation for a less worthy cause; the film is supposed to play tonight at Simpson Drill Field as part of the kickoff for a poverty simulation, so it's not like I just randomly decided to edit the thing. I just had this idea that I would spend a couple hours editing together a 3-5 minute video and then get on with my paper. Should have thought about it.
As for the video itself, I think I'm happy with the documentary despite poor videography, some audio problems, and an end result that is 20 minutes of talking heads without so much as a single piece of music (if I decide to spend even more time on it I might throw one into the credits although I can always do that later). It also just occurred to me that I just used time writing a full Xanga post despite the last video capture finishing halfway through.
It's T-minus 8.25 hours until I meet my prof and I have work between now and then, or as much work as I can't reasonably get out of (meaning probably all of it minus the time it takes to wait for and attend a meeting). I'm thinking I may be in college for a little while longer.
Option A) Procrastinate and work on video projects and other things I'd much rather focus on than my project. Fail the project and walk at graduation but not get my degree. Stay in school allowing me to keep my decently well-paying student worker job doing video production through next fall and taking off any time I want for side projects. Take a 3-hour fall semester and enjoy college the way it was meant to be enjoyed while not having to deal with real life for another 6 months.
Option B) OD on Nerd and Red Bull, put aside other important projects to make a last-ditch effort at finishing my project so that I can graduate, lose my student worker job after two months, and then try to find a job as good as the one I already have (and in this economic climate), but get on with a new stage of my life and be ready to pursue any opportunity without attachment or reservation.
Option C) Forget college. Steal stuff, like wallets and identities. Because I'm sketch like that.
Lessons learned this week: When someone pushes you around, you push back twice as hard, even if the person is just being playful. If you let yourself get pushed around, you may back into a car, bruise your tailbone, and not spend a long weekend wakeboarding and tubing at Lake Conroe. Actually, my tailbone is doing okay now. It's mostly my inclination towards Option B that is keeping me here. My plan is to give it my best shot, and if the project is successful, ask if the prof will agree to hold off on changing my grade until after I fail to graduate. I'm really fond of ideas which require planned failure to succeed.
